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Posted by on Aug 30, 2011 in Write | 22 comments

Not welcome here

Not welcome here

Source: shadow of my future self

I received my first proper “hate mail” style comment this weekend. I had read enough on other blogs to know to expect one sooner or later, but it still took me by surprise. To be honest, I wasn’t sure how to deal with it. Should I ignore it, delete it, approve it, respond to it publicly? I really found it hard to decide.

I let it sit there in my comments queue for a while until I’d had a chance to think about it. And in the time that it sat there, I decided that it might be time for a comments policy on my blog. (Thankfully I’ve never needed one before this, because this situation hasn’t arisen before.)

So here it is – all rational, respectful comments are welcome on this blog.

There are two types of comments that are not welcome and will be subject to immediate deletion. The first are blatant link-gathering comments. If you post a comment that is only barely relevant to the article (or is not relevant at all) and immediately follow it up with a link to your own site, I will delete it. I have no problem with links to your own or other people’s sites, but they must be relevant.

The second category of comments that will be deleted are hateful, hurtful comments, clearly designed to stir things up. I welcome discussion and debate, so by all means feel free to disagree with anything I write. Tell me what you disagree with, and I will publish your comment and respond to it. But you must argue your point – don’t simply hurl abuse because you disagree.

So what constitutes respectful debate and what constitutes abuse? Well if you read the exchange between me and Lisa Sunbury recently on my post about iPads and toddlers, you’ll see a perfect example of the type of debate and discussion that I think makes the Internet a place where we can all learn from each other and grow. The type of place I’d like this blog to be.

And what constitutes abuse? Well I guess here I have to use the example of the comment I deleted. On my post about the lack of men in Irish Childcare, I received a comment suggesting that I was “sick and should have my children taken away” from me because I “let their father near them.” Apparently all men are abusers and sooner or later, he will harm my children and because of this people like me should be locked up. Where to even start with that?! Well, I have one child, not numerous children. Before commenting on a post, people should first read it. And the nonsense about all men being abusers given the opportunity…you can’t be serious!

So that comment is the reason why I find myself here writing a post about what I will and won’t allow on my blog. Call it censorship, call it what you will…this is my little corner of the Internet, and there is no place here for comments like that. If you’d like to post vitriolic nonsense like that, please feel free to create your own little corner of the Internet and post it there. Your hateful comments are not welcome here!

22 Comments

  1. Here here

  2. Here here

  3. Hear hear! 

    It was bound to happen, sooner or later as the internet is a place where people feel free and anonymous. Don’t let it get you down. Soon you’ll be up there with the best of them and will unfortunately probably get plenty more…!

    Definitely a good policy from hear on in.

    Aine : )

  4. Hear hear! 

    It was bound to happen, sooner or later as the internet is a place where people feel free and anonymous. Don’t let it get you down. Soon you’ll be up there with the best of them and will unfortunately probably get plenty more…!

    Definitely a good policy from hear on in.

    Aine : )

  5. Fair play to you! Some people are just looney’s! At least you have your policy clear now and hopefully won’t have anymore offenders :)

  6. Fair play to you! Some people are just looney’s! At least you have your policy clear now and hopefully won’t have anymore offenders :)

  7. Well said Lisa

  8. Well said Lisa

  9. Good god, there are some troubled people out there.  I have to say when I was signing OMG up for day care I asked if there were any men working there as I thought it would be good for him but it’s just not an industry men seem to work in and I think his childcare lacks because of it!

    • Good on you Lisa, some people can be sooooooo narrow minded….

  10. Good god, there are some troubled people out there.  I have to say when I was signing OMG up for day care I asked if there were any men working there as I thought it would be good for him but it’s just not an industry men seem to work in and I think his childcare lacks because of it!

  11. Hateful comment on a site dedicated to your little mans adventures!!! UNBELIEVABLE…. there are some sick and sad individuals out there…. 

  12. Hateful comment on a site dedicated to your little mans adventures!!! UNBELIEVABLE…. there are some sick and sad individuals out there…. 

  13. Good on you Lisa, some people can be sooooooo narrow minded….

  14. Notwithstanding how horrible Internet responses can make you feel, from that excerpt, how awful would it be to go through life thinking all men are like that? If it’s not purely a troll then it’s actually very sad that the person obviously has had no experience of a rounded loving relationship with a man whether brother father son or uncle. That said just because you put yourself out there in a blog doesn’t give anyone the right to hurl abuse.

    • Totally agree Chatter2cat. But given some of the other inflammatory language used in the comment, I am fairly confident that it was written purely for the purposes of trolling. As you said, the alternative, that someone may honestly believe that all men are paedophiles simply waiting for their opportunity, is too horrible to consider.

  15. Thanks everyone! You know I’ve had hundreds of comments from lots of lovely people on this blog since I started it, so in a way I should be glad that I got this far before getting the first bad one! 

  16. Thanks everyone! You know I’ve had hundreds of comments from lots of lovely people on this blog since I started it, so in a way I should be glad that I got this far before getting the first bad one! 

  17. I think ‘please feel free to create your own little corner of the Internet and post it there. ‘ is the perfect response, our blogs are our space not a free for all for everyone to write any hurtful and negative rubbish that comes to mind.
    Or as my mum said ‘If you havent got anything nice to say, then dont say anything at all!’

    Lovely post, thanks xx

  18. Notwithstanding how horrible Internet responses can make you feel, from that excerpt, how awful would it be to go through life thinking all men are like that? If it’s not purely a troll then it’s actually very sad that the person obviously has had no experience of a rounded loving relationship with a man whether brother father son or uncle. That said just because you put yourself out there in a blog doesn’t give anyone the right to hurl abuse.

  19. Totally agree Chatter2cat. But given some of the other inflammatory language used in the comment, I am fairly confident that it was written purely for the purposes of trolling. As you said, the alternative, that someone may honestly believe that all men are paedophiles simply waiting for their opportunity, is too horrible to consider.

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