Guest Post: Breastfeeding AndMyBaby

Tonight I’m delighted to feature a guest post in honour of World Breastfeeding Week from Áine at AndMyBaby. Áine has been breastfeeding Little M for 21 months or so now, and she’s picked up quite a wealth of knowledge along the way. Thanks Áine for sharing your post with us: World Breastfeeding Week

If I started from the very beginning, this ‘story’ would be very long and arduous. What I’m going to do instead is write some snippets about my journey with my little guy…

The million dollar question

I remember when I had my bump, being asked outright whether or not I would breastfeed. I didn’t know the first thing about breastfeeding but I knew I wanted to breastfeed my child. I kept this from others though, as all I had heard from others was that it was very hard and not always possible. I didn’t want to set myself up for a fall in pride, so I always said ‘yeah of course, I’ll try, but I’ll see what happens.’ I was breastfed until past the age of one and had my mother’s experience to go on which gave me a sort of inner confidence.

The first time

I was wheeled up to my baby in the special care unit of Holles Street Maternity Hospital. This was the first time I was going to really get a look at him properly and it was about six hours since he was born. He had been whisked away after the birth and given a bottle by a nurse. I could see my intentions of breastfeeding slipping away before me. I hadn’t done any research on breastfeeding. I had read lots on pregnancy and labour. I had bought a ridiculous amount of equipment. I knew many of the amazing, far-reaching benefits of breastfeeding. There was one thing I hadn’t done. I had absolutely no idea how to breastfeed!

So I arrived in the special care unit, very weak and nervous and asked if I could try to feed him. The nurses lifted him out to me. It never occurred to ask them for help as they looked so young. So I held my baby boy, all 9lbs of him and buttoned down the ‘front-opening’ nightgown that appears on every hospital list I had seen. I attached his mouth to my breast. At least I must’ve done. I don’t remember.

Another thing I didn’t know was the importance of skin-to-skin and the importance of the baby’s sucking to bring the milk in. I think I had him at my boob for all of two minutes and sort of felt I had burdened the nurses enough. The nurse took ickle Little M andmade this big deal of burping himand rubbing and patting ferociously. I remember thinking ‘wow, that’s a whole lot of action for such a short time on the boob’, where I was pretty sure he hadn’t even had a drop!

I struck gold!

On my last day in hospital, day six of six, a nurse who seemed to have had a personal genuine interest in breastfeeding checked in on me a few times and offered to help me. She told me that the next time Little M woke to buzz her. She did indeed help! She showed me how to get a really deep latch and how to hold him a few different ways. The first time I managed to get him latched on myself without using a nipple shield was magical! I will remember it forever! I looked up at D and exclaimed ‘oh my God, he’s feeding, look!’ I really could believe it. For days I had received snippets of advice from nurses, used nipple shields, asked for help, had nurses latch him on but I could never, ever manage to latch him on myself. So this was a great moment when I realized things might not be so terrible on arriving home. Another thing I’ll never forget is that same nurse telling a doctor who came to check up on us that breastfeeding was going ‘reeeeeally well’. I wasn’t sure she meant it but I was delighted, he seemed delighted and she seemed delighted. I often wondered whether I would have been able to continue without this kind, interested nurse’s extra support.

One day at a time…

I found the first two weeks gruelling trying to get breastfeeding established. I remember saying to D that I wasn’t sure I could go on and that I would set a first goal of ten days. That tenth day came and went unnoticed by me, I realized when I had breastfed Little M for two whole weeks. What a feeling of accomplishment! I dealt with the feeding-around-the-clock by watching a box-set of Grey’s Anatomy right from the very beginning. We settled into a nice evening routine of Little M feeding and sleeping from about 6 pm until 11 pm each night. D and I would watch tv, eat dinner, cooked my D, chat and stare at our little bundle. When the public health nurse visited I confidently told her feeding was going great. When visitors called, I fed Little M shyly. I used to get D to stand in front of me pretending to fix something! Then I’d sit back and enjoy the food and drinks constantly being sent my direction! Breastfeeding thirst is unquenchable. Breastfeeding hunger is insatiable.

Disaster Struck

Getting ready for our first three hour trip home to visit our families (yes I know, madness! Why did I do that so early??!), I popped into the local HSE breastfeeding support group. Little M was three weeks old. I had been finding him quite sleepy of late and had no idea of the lengths between feeds. I was told in no uncertain terms that his weight-gain was not good enough. This floored me. She advised that I try to feed Little M for 25 minutes on one side and 10 minutes on the other. I was a bit dubious of this as I’d researched a bit on this and found out that timings were not important, what was important was to watch the nappies. Little M’s were fine. I arrived home to D who had been packing for our trip in an emotional wreck. I cancelled our trip home. I had a good cry and then decided to go ahead with the trip. It didn’t matter where I was feeding Little M anyway, I could try out this new approach wherever I was. So off we went. I was very careful that weekend to schedule feedings and it seemed to do the trick, Little M went longer between feeds and no longer ‘snacked’ often as he used to. When I went returned home, I called my local public health nurse and she came to weigh Little M and put my mind at ease. She assured me that all was fine, that he was gaining weight and even suggested that it may have been a mistake! Well!!!

Breastfeeding in Public

I was sick and tired of being at home in my pyjamas so one day we decided to head to a nearby shopping centre to meet my sister. I was also dying to try nursing somewhere outside of my comfort zone. I had heard that Starbucks was baby friendly and the couches were comfy so we made a beeline there after looking around a few shops. As we approached the café, we were greeted by six of my husband’s work colleagues excitedly waving and calling to us. They were beckoning us to some free couches beside them. Wow! I rocked and rocked and jiggled the buggy, praying that Little M wouldn’t stir! After a very quick cup of their smallest coffee, we made our excuses and headed elsewhere. This time we landed in the Marks & Spenser café and I settled myself down to feed Little M for the first time ‘in public’. This time for company I had another breastfeeding mama next to me instead of D’s entire collection of friends! A slightly easier first time!

The next bout of questions…

No sooner had I breastfeeding up and running that I encountered new questions. Are you still breastfeeding? When will you stop? I had no idea when I was going to stop, it was still relatively new to me. Anyway, Little M was going to be a newborn forever, right?

There seemed to be a huge pre-occupation with my breast-feeding. After a yoga class, mothers told me how they had failed at it. At playgroup a mother told me I deserved a medal. I began to feel uncomfortable. I felt by breastfeeding that other mothers felt I was judging them as these comments kept coming. I fed Little M with as little fuss as possible and found myself steering clear of conversations involving sleep, routine and formula. Thankfully I had a friend who was also breastfeeding so I saved all my chat for when we met up.

Coming soon…

Six month milestone

First birthday

Nearly Two

If you have a breastfeeding story of your own that you would like to share in honour of World Breastfeeding Week, please email me at lisa [at] mama.ie. Through the week, I will share any stories I receive here on Mama.ie.