Guest Post: Low milk supply isn’t always a myth
As part of World Breastfeeding Week, I have another breastfeeding story to share with you – this one about difficulties with low milk supply. If you read about breastfeeding myths, first on the list is “Most women do not produce enough milk.” Many people read this as though low milk supply itself is a myth, which it certainly is not.
So today, I’m delighted to share Ger’s breastfeeding story with all of you. In many ways, I feel that Ger’s story is the most important one being told here this week, because it’s a reminder that just because some breastfeeding problems are rare or unlikely, doesn’t mean that they don’t happen.
Thank you so much for sharing your story Ger.
My son was born 10 days overdue, a long and skinny baby. From the very first (partly due to my age at 42 and partly due to my thyroid condition), I had problems producing colostrum and then milk. Despite all the glib assurances you get that it will of course come in on time, mine was 48 hours delayed. Also my son couldn’t latch on because of my nipples. I tried everything and ended up using a breast shield to get him on at all. I was in Mount Carmel and had access to nurses 24/7 who helped and a lactation consultant who gave us hours of her time, but it was very stressful.
For about three to four weeks, things improved and slowly we got him to latch on (only with a shield though) and he quickly gained weight. I fed on demand, every 2 hours or so.
Then he stopped gaining weight. From 1 month to 4 months I still breastfed exclusively, but tried everything to up my production from meds to funugreek. And nothing worked.
I had to pump constantly to keep my supply up, in between feeding and it was exhausting.
He had colic and reflux and as a result was unable to latch on half the time, arching his back and crying. Getting him on could take half an hour, he was a slow feeder, and because of his weight problem I had to leave him on for ages.
At 4 months, he fell below the 3rd percentile in weight and I supplemented with formula. From there on in he never looked back. While I still breastfed to 6 months, without the formula he would have been in real trouble.
Breastfeeding was a generally awful experience for me. Far from a bonding time, it was a stressful experience, struggling to get him on, struggling to keep his weight up at all. While our Public Health Nurse and Mount Carmel helped greatly, the worst thing was the glibness of other women.
In person and online, whenever I asked for help or recounted the difficulties I had, I got stock answers telling me “ALL” women could produce enough milk, all I had to do was x and y, and that I shouldn’t listen to the paediatrician, GP and PHN who recommended supplementing. When I explained exactly the things I had tried and how they had failed, they just ignored it and repeated the same stock answers. Only women who had had severe difficulties themselves were sympathetic or had any real advice to give.
I am glad I breastfed, but I wish I had supplemented earlier. I am still extremely frustrated and annoyed when I read or hear uninformed comments about milk production difficulties. I can honestly say breastfeeding was one of the most stressful experiences of my life.
Luckily my son is the best natured, dotey little man ever and has bounced back from his initial difficulties. And there is some consolation in knowing he got at least a few months exclusive breastfeeding but women should try to be less judgemental about breastfeeding, less intent on the ideology of it and more aware of the very real difficulties involved for other women.
If you have a breastfeeding story of your own that you would like to share in honour of World Breastfeeding Week, please email me at lisa [at] mama.ie. Through the week, I will share any stories I receive here on Mama.ie.
Thanks so much for sharing this story Ger. I only pumped for a month, and I was exhausted at the end of it. I cannot imagine keeping it up together with feeding as you did.
I’m so sorry that you encountered so many people who were dismissive of the problems you were experiencing.
Great story. I only wish all new mums could know not to get caught up in the ideology of breastfeeding as Ger describes it. I think that if I had given top ups in the hospital when my milk still hadn’t come in & baby was wasting away then my breastfeeding journey might have had a chance of lasting more than 3 weeks. Oh well – hindsight is great isn’t it! Fingers crossed I’ll get a chance to benefit from it at some stage in the future.
So glad you posted this Ger, because breastfeeding is not easy for everyone, and sometimes it doesn’t work out the way you wanted. I found it bloody difficult, and still do. One of my friends tried every trick in the book, and a few more besides, to up her supply, and yet her total yield in one day would barely have made one feed. She was tormented with guilt, and I only wish that posts like yours had been around to reassure her that what is best is what works for baby and you, not what someone else who doesn’t know you or your baby tells you you should be doing.
I firmly believe that breastfeeding is best for my own kids, but would never dream of insisting that everyone should do it or judging someone if they don’t. I also firmly believe in being open about how difficult it can be, because otherwise the guilt that you can put yourself through when it gets tough can be crippling. My story is different to yours, but the amount of judgement I encountered for not breastfeeding “properly” was insane. You’d think that women would have more cop on and lend each other support, but no, unfortunately there are some hyper-militant types out there who rattle off the same old tired mantras and do not listen. There is NO one-size-fits-all when it comes to breastfeeding.
I had a different experience with each of mine. Number 1 only latched on about half ten times in six months (oversupply, fast let-down, inverted nipples, etc.) so I ended up pumping for her for seven months, and it was a killer. Only sheer stubborness got me through.
I was hoping against hope that Number 2 would latch, as the thought of trying to manage pumping with an active toddler in two was pretty stressful. I had great support from one particular midwife in CUMH and was also more confident second time around, and thankfully he did latch, but I then had to use shields to get me over particularly painful cracks about a week in and now he won’t feed without them. And he has reflux. And no intention of settling into any sort of feeding pattern. And still hasn’t got the hang of taking a bottle of expressed milk. And won’t take a soother. It’s exhausting!
I’ve had some fantastic support, but have also encountered a lot of judgemental types, according to whom:
– Number 1 wasn’t fed directly from the breast, therefore I had “failed”. (Surely the milk itself is more important than the mode of delivery???)
– Number 2 won’t feed without “artificial aids” (the breast shields), therefore I’m not breastfeeding “properly”.
Breastfeeding can be stressful enough without the added baggage from judgey-pants know-it-alls. Good on you for sticking with it for so long, and good on you for also deciding what worked best for you and your son and sticking to your guns.
Thanks for sharing your story. 🙂
And thank you for sharing your story Carol. I was lucky never to experience anyone judging me because I wasn’t breastfeeding properly – though I have read stories online from others who supplemented with formula who were told that they might as well not be bothering to breastfeed!
I don’t understand the issue some people take with nipple shields – I have a number of friends from my local breastfeeding support group who wouldn’t have been able to establish breastfeeding without them. From what I’ve read on the subject, originally nipple shields were problematic because they were made of thick plastic and they did interfere with the baby’s ability to get enough milk. But the new versions, made of thin silicone don’t seem to cause the same issues. However, the “advice” based on the original shields persists.
I completely agree with you that the last thing that breastfeeding mothers need is judgment – but I’d extend that to say that the last thing any mother needs is judgment. Unless she is neglecting her child or abusing her child, no one has the right to tell her how she should parent her child. And that goes from those early feeding decisions on. I wish there was more support for all mothers in their choices. If you want to formula feed, I wish you weren’t made to feel like there is something wrong with that, and if you want to breastfeed, I wish the support was there to ensure that everyone who wants to, can.
Thanks Carol! I am glad if it helped at all to read it. I totally agree, I was constantly told by other mothers that I wasn’t doing it properly if I used a breast shield. I wore these lovely hard shell thing that were supposed to make the nipples stand out so baby could latch on. They were the most incomfortable painful yokes and I was told to wear them 24/7 for a few days and they would cure my flat nipples. I wore them like a big eejit for three days straight and they didn’t make those nipples even bumpy. They did however give me huge welts.
I just wish women would stop using BFing as some measure of worth, and instead support one another. Maybe then women could share their experiences good and bad with both ff and bfing and help others make informed decisions/support them through difficulties.
Properly, schmoperly. I just keep muttering “forks, fingers, chopsticks” to myself when I get those comments now… it’s my anti-gobshite mantra to remind me that people feed differently at every age 🙂
I used those big shell things too. Great for collecting leaking milk (as long as I remembered to empty them and didn’t spill a shellfull all over myself in one go), but the most uncomfortable things to wear. And they give you the oddest boob silhouette! 😀 I’m sceptical about how good they are at drawing out the nipple, though – I think it was all the pumping with Number 1 that made it easier to feed Number 2, as there was a fair bit of stretching first time around so he had something to work with. (Well, that and the fact that he’s a hungry little grubber who’d latch onto a dirty wellie if he had to…)
I agree with you, Ger – breastfeeding is very much worthwhile, but the decision or ability to do so does not define a woman’s worth.
100% agree with you, Lisa, it does extend to all areas of parenting. Every family, and every individual within a family, is different, and for the most part mothers (and fathers) know their own child best and know what will work best for them.
I find it hardest to manage within the extended family, sometimes, and I frequently have moments with my own mum and mother-in-law where they gets quite defensive when my husband and I do things differently to the way we were raised. It’s almost as though our choice to do things another way (breastfeeding, babywearing, baby-led weaning, teaching our kids to name and manage their feelings… you name it…) is by default a criticism of their way of parenting. It’s not, it’s just different. Yes, I actively wanted to change some aspects of the way we were raised, and other apects just evolved naturally, but that doesn’t mean that they didn’t do a good job raising us. Different isn’t better; different isn’t wrong; different isn’t a criticism of other approaches. It’s just different.
On the nipple shields, the ones they hand out in hospitals are useless. Not only are they too inflexible, they’re also far too small and narrow – they don’t take account of just how much the nipple needs to stretch during feeding. I use the ARDO Tulips shields they’re great. My only problem is that he won’t feed without them now, but hey, he’s still feeding and that’s what counts! 🙂
Hi Carol,
Could you tell me how big the ARDO Tulip shield is? I have very large nipples and my newborn daughter can’t latch onto enough areola to breastfeed. I am up pumping every three hours while my husband feeds her from a bottle. We are working with a lactation consultant but the largest nipple shield we can find here (in Australia) is 24 mm, which is too small and we have been told that we will just have to wait till she grows. This is beginning to seem impossible as two hours of sleep (and less if I want to feed her) is not working very well for us. I have read that ARDO has both Medium and Large sizes, but I can’t seem to find the diameter of the nipple on the shield anywhere. Any info you have would be greatly appreciated by this sleep deprived mother who REALLY wants to feed her baby.
Thanks
KristinÂ
Hi Kristin,
It doesn’t state anywhere on the packaging how large they are, but I measured the base with a tape and they’re 24mm also. If I recall correctly, our lactation consultant said that 24mm shields were the largest. It doesn’t make sense, really, as there are plenty of 27mm and 30mm pump flanges out there, but no shields.
I really feel for you, as it’s SOOOO hard in the early days. Sheer stubborness was the only thing that got me through feeding my daughter, as I was determined that she get breastmilk, but I was incredibly frustrated by the fact that she never latched properly and (what was probably worst of all) was full of stupid guilt at not being able to feed her directly. It’s very difficult when you’re sleep deprived to think clearly, and all I could think at the time was that this was what we women were built for, why we have boobs, and yet I couldn’t do it, I’d failed. Looking back now, of course, I was putting way too much pressure on myself, but at the time I was in a bad way.
I know it’s not what you want to hear (I’d have smacked someone if they’d said this to me back then), but just take it one feed at a time. It’s great that you’re getting support from your husband, and believe me, it does get easier, I promise. Even with a baby that latches, that lack of sleep is common in the early days – my second child did latch, and I still got sod all sleep with him for the first few weeks while he went through growth spurts, cluster fed, etc. With both of them I just kept telling myself, “All I need is 6-8 hours sleep. If that comes in 1-hour bursts, that’s fine, so long as I get 6-8 hours sleep in 24 hours.” And it does level off… I was down to 4 or 5 pumping sessions a day after a few weeks, and then just three. It’s just those first few weeks that feel like a never-ending nightmare.
The best advice I got was: “If you’re going to give up, give up on a good day.” That saw me through many a tough patch, and is still working for me with #2, who refuses to take a bottle of EBM and give me a break. Couldn’t get the first one onto the boob, can’t get the second one off it… this breastfeeding lark is not as easy and natural as we’re led to believe, is it?
Sorry I couldn’t help with any info on larger shields, Kristin. Hang in there, but be kind to yourself too 🙂
Carol.
Thanks for your reply Carol, it really meant a lot that you got back to me. I have only been able to turn up the 24 mm nipple shields as well. I was hopeful that ARDO’s large size for babies 3-6 months might be bigger. Your advice was also much appreciated. Giving up on a good day is a great way to think about getting through these early days. I have in my head that I can go on like this until my day help runs out, which gives my daughter seven weeks of expressed breast milk. Hopefully by then we can get her on the breast, but if not it is at that mark I need to reassess whether I can do this. I am feeling pretty good on 6-8 hours of broken sleep, I just feel as though I am missing out on so many special early moments because I am always hooked up to the breast pump. I am glad my husband and bub’s grandparents get the chance to feed her, but I really want to be doing this all differently. I feel like I have to trade sleep for a cuddle, and then begins a vicious cycle of no sleep. Slowly we are getting the hang of it though and treasuring those rare moments of three hour stretches of sleep that then give way to more cuddle time seems to be the way to go.
Thanks again for your response.
Kristin Â