Wear something glamorous

“Wear something glamorous,” the photographer said. And with three words, my stomach started to churn and my mind started to race.

Oh dear. Nowhere does the definition of glamorous mention dark circles under the eyes from three weeks of broken sleep due to non-stop teething. Nor does it mention a variety food stuffs artistically smeared across clothes. No sign of straying grey hairs or a forest of split ends either.

No matter, no matter, I told myself. I’ll just wear something nice and maybe the hair and the tired eyes won’t be so noticeable. Ahhh…I’m ashamed to say that these days something nice in my mind means something clean, and even occasionally something ironed! But I don’t think clean and ironed is quite enough when we’re talking about looking “glamorous.”

In desperation, I pulled open the doors of my wardrobe and starting throwing clothes out of it, convinced something would magically appear that I’d forgotten all about but that just happened to have glamour written all over it. Nope. As I suspected, my wardrobe is a glamour-free zone.

I did pull together a selection of “dresses suitable for weddings” to take along just in case they would work. But the photos were for a story about mothers in the workplace and I don’t think wedding chic is what was meant by glamour either.

In a panic, I threw Little Man in the car and headed for the nearest shopping centre. An hour later, I had a tailored dress from Next that I wouldn’t call glamorous, but it was a step up from the jeans and a top that I feel most at home in.

The photo shoot was today (25 hours after the phone call) and I felt queasy all day at work just thinking about it. I’ll be curious to see the finished product, because, I’ll tell you, America’s Next Top Model material I am not. Posing is harder than it looks! I found it next to impossible to relax, the whole thing just felt so unnatural to me. Hopefully the photographer will work her magic and that won’t come across in the shots, but I have my doubts!

When it was all over, I felt such a sense of relief. I know I put my words out there for public consumption every day, but words are something I understand. Writing comes easy, fashion does not! So putting my image out there – or worse trying to put a “glamorous” version of my image out there – is quite daunting.

For as long as I can remember, I haven’t had a clue about fashion. It took me years to figure out what looked good on me and what didn’t. And I still haven’t fully come to terms with my changed shape post-pregnancy, so I find it even harder to find clothes to suit now than I did before. If I take an afternoon to go shopping to get myself something nice and new to wear I invariably come home with a couple of bags of clothes for Little Man and nothing for myself! Please tell me I’m not alone in this!!

How would you react to the instruction to “wear something glamorous”? Is it a no-brainer because you always look amazing? And if so how on earth do you manage it? Or would the thoughts of it break you out in a cold sweat as it does to me?

PS – if you’re curious what the shoot was for, you’ll have to have patience! I’ll write about it closer to the publication time!