Let me help you with that!
An article I read on Parenting.com called Help Has No Fury really got me thinking. In it, Shawn Bean explains how his wife constantly redoes his chores – “fixes them” if you will.
There is a phenomenon occurring around my house, and I suspect many others as well, called the “double do.” After I finish emptying the dishwasher or folding the boys’ laundry, my wife, Brandy, trails behind and gives my work a minor redo: moves the stray small spoon out of the big-spoon paddock; refolds a shirt so the sleeves don’t resemble crinkle fries. If you think she’s particular about the silverware, you should see her with the children.
Source: las-initially
When Charlie and I decided to have a baby, one of the things we were agreed on was that we both wanted to play a strong role in our child’s life. But at the start, I was on maternity leave, and Charlie was working, I was breastfeeding, and Charlie doesn’t produce milk…! So despite our best intentions, it was hard to keep things equal.
But then I returned to work, and we each had our one day of parental leave per week to look after Little Man. For the first month, I left lots of instructions as to what Little Man should eat, when he should sleep – I just about stopped short of giving them a list of suitable games to play!
And I was the same when it came to housework – I’d let Charlie know what needed to be done around the house while he was at home and I was at work. After a few weeks though, I started to relax about it – I think because Charlie started to find his feet when it came to his solo parenting gig once a week!
These days, there are no lists of instructions! I’ve learned that just because Charlie does things differently to me, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t do things “right” – it’s just not my “right”! But every so often, I find myself tut-tutting when I realise that the clothes were sorted differently to the way that I sort them, or the pot of jam isn’t on its usual shelf! And at those times I have to remind myself that my way isn’t the only way! Though I’m the first to admit that some days, it’s easier than others!
What about you? Do you “fix” things after your significant other has done them? Are you the only one in your house who can do things “right”?! How have you found your balance?
I remember Charlie saying that he purposely does chores “wrong” so that he won’t be asked to do them again in the future 😉
Don’t worry – I’m wise to his tricks! 🙂
I remember Charlie saying that he purposely does chores “wrong” so that he won’t be asked to do them again in the future 😉
Don’t worry – I’m wise to his tricks! 🙂
I am totally the same but since our son’s arrival I’ve gotten better as at least if he half-does something, it’s better than not done at all. Men (well my one anyway!) just seem to be wired differently! I followed Flylady for a while and thought her mantra was good for the control freak in me ‘any housework, even done badly, blesses your home’. Corny to the extreme but it helped!
Yeah, letting go of perfectionism and realising that any bit of housework at all makes a difference was one of the best things I learned from Flylady.
I am totally the same but since our son’s arrival I’ve gotten better as at least if he half-does something, it’s better than not done at all. Men (well my one anyway!) just seem to be wired differently! I followed Flylady for a while and thought her mantra was good for the control freak in me ‘any housework, even done badly, blesses your home’. Corny to the extreme but it helped!
Oh and I meant to say too, that’s really great that you and your hubby take a day each a week of parental leave! What a great idea. I have a friend and they do the same thing. Kind of the best of both worlds then with home and work etc! Well done x
It’s fantastic alright – and we both agree that we’ve very lucky to have had the option. My only regret is that it can’t continue forever – I’ve only got one more month of it left… Still I’m staying positive about it and reminding myself that we were lucky to have been able to do it for a year.
Oh and I meant to say too, that’s really great that you and your hubby take a day each a week of parental leave! What a great idea. I have a friend and they do the same thing. Kind of the best of both worlds then with home and work etc! Well done x
It’s fantastic alright – and we both agree that we’ve very lucky to have had the option. My only regret is that it can’t continue forever – I’ve only got one more month of it left… Still I’m staying positive about it and reminding myself that we were lucky to have been able to do it for a year.