And then it’s over
A month or so ago, I had a rare day. I took some time to myself at my husband’s urging. I never take time to myself. There’s always something else I feel I should be doing. And when I work all week, it feels wrong to take even more time away from the kids, from my family.
But as the kids get bigger, it gets easier to leave for a few hours. So, I left the two of them and my husband planning a fun morning for themselves, while I headed off to the shops.
First stop Starbucks. I treated myself to a Cinnamon Dolce Latté and settled back into a comfy armchair. Then a sense of déjà vu crept over me. I’d sat in that exact spot once before. She was a tiny baby, maybe 6 weeks old. And she needed to be fed. As much as possible, I had avoided breastfeeding in public with my son. I was so afraid of it. But this was my second baby, and I knew that if breastfeeding was going to be workable, it would have to be convenient. So there was nothing else for it. I would have to grit my teeth, pretend that I was totally comfortable with public nursing and just do it. Nothing wrong with easing myself into it by picking a known breastfeeding-friendly establishment like Starbucks though.
I quickly latched her on and then looked up, checking I guess if anyone noticed. And who did I see across the way from me but a woman I had met the previous week at the local breastfeeding group, and she was sitting there feeding her own baby. And she smiled.
I smiled at the memory as I sat there thinking back on that day. How far we’ve come since then. I breastfed my daughter for far longer than I ever expected to and it was such an overwhelmingly positive experience. That day in Starbucks, when I sat reminiscing, we had already started weaning. We were down to a short bedtime feed, and some nights she wanted the milk and some nights she wasn’t pushed. The week after her second birthday, we gently stopped. And then that was it, another phase over. Two years sounds so long when you say it, but in many ways it was the blink of an eye.
It’s been a few weeks now since our last feed, and just this week, I overheard a discussion between her and her brother. He asked her if she wanted mammy milk or Bob-bob (bottle) milk. “Mammy no have milk,” she exclaimed. “Only bob-bob have milk.” She couldn’t understand what he was suggesting. That was it. It’s already forgotten.
In some ways that makes it really final. Now it’s over. I look back on the days and nights, and the feeds and cuddles, with a lot of fondness and no regrets. As it should be.
Perfect. Well done you. What a memory to have x
Mind The Baby recently posted..10 conversations a celebrity mum has before THAT post partum appearance
Oh I remember being here. I remember how FAST it flew by. Lovely gentle end of that chapter, onto the next 🙂
Emily recently posted..Awards and Teapots (a winning combination)
It never seems fast when you’re in the middle of it. But looking back it’s the blink of an eye.
It really does go so fast and it’s shocking how quickly it’s forgotten by little toddlers when it’s gone.
You did great to have such a good feeding journey with little woman 🙂
Awh, poignant and lovely. It is so nice when it is done so gently and naturally so that there is no sudden jolt to either of you.
Naomi Lavelle recently posted..Science Snippets -A top five round up of recent science news
Thanks Naomi. Yes I’m glad it ended that way.
It does absolutely fly, even though those up all night times feel like they’re going on forever. Enjoy the new freedom and the lovely memories 🙂
Lisa – Four Walls, Rainy Days recently posted..Got This Thing Nailed, A Giveaway!
I’ve already been making the most of it Lisa with a night away last weekend for the awards.
Glad your bf experience was so positive and ended with fond memories 🙂
Louise (@TattooedMumsy) recently posted..Me & Mine April
You made me cry.
Well done. (On the breastfeeding, not the making me cry.)
Sorry for the tears Christine. It wasn’t intentional. 🙂
Isn’t it amazing how quickly they forget? Love that she has no recollection and u have so many memories x